try cracking my diamond

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

happy birthday.

i found a diamond at 10:01 AM

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

ego boosting stuff

i found a diamond at 6:08 PM

Monday, March 12, 2007

the question of the day:
if you can have eternal life without pursuing a god,
will u still be pursuing one?

was reading tohloy's blog awhile ago. he has been a really good friend of mine(at least i still treat him as one, though we havent talked for many many months) since sec sch. am kinda glad that he has direction and a sense of purpose and identity in life. for the first time im not cynical abt it, maybe it's coz he is the one writing those words. or maybe i have a lack of security and whatnot now.

i found a diamond at 10:40 PM

Monday, March 05, 2007

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to question even if it doesn't make any sense.
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too.
________________________________________________________________________________1. 1.How are you feeling today? S.H.E: Tian Hui
errr i dont feel very grey today! just that im wearing grey now hahaha
2. Will you get far in life? Jay Chou: Shanghai 1943
my life belongs to the past??? hahaha nonsense
3. How do your friends see you? Rainie Yang: Ai Mei
hahahaha does that mean im too friendly? jiaxuan did mention b4 that i have a friendly aura tho...dono~
4. Will you get married? Li Jiu Zhe: Jie Tuo
that sounds like i will get divorced so i can jie tuo...yea so i guess i will get married. hahaha
5. What's your best friend's theme song? Guang Liang: Tong Hua
errr..i dont think it really describes her. she's a total mystery
6. What's the story of your life? Jay Chou: Hei Se Mao Yi
hmm...the lyrics kinda describe my life over the past few years? but it's useless to be emo! HAHA!
7. What was high school like? (i forgot the artiste's name): Waiting for You
yeah this is really true. and stupid.
8. How can you get ahead in life? Do as Infinity: Yesterday and Today
hmm? i guess the band and the title describes everything already. great song.
9. What's the best thing about your friends? Jay Chou: Wei Yan Gu Bao
scary?? reminds me of labond. hahaha.
10. What's in store for this weekend? Zhen Zhong Ji: Jue Kou Bu Ti Ai Ni
sry i dont have any girl in my life now. aw.
11. What song describes you? Carole King: You've got a friend
i dont think im that kind after all. so nah this doesnt suit me.
12. What song describes your grandparents? Fort Minor: Remember the Name
only one grandma is alive now. i don't think she is into rap but yea. ill remember her name no matter what.
13. How is your life going? Joseph Arthur: In The Sun
yea kind of, been getting tanned from the running hahaha
14. What song will they play at your funeral? Jay Chou: Shan Hu Hai
aw man sad song. but ill like this. my last message to the special her.
15. How does the world see you? Jay Chou + Fei Yu Qing: Qian Li Zhi Wai
haha! i think this is really true.
16. What do your friends really think of you? Eminem: When I'm Gone
morbid? hateful? negative? its all possible.
17. Do people secretly lust after you? Fan Yi Chen: I Believe
YEA I BELIEVE!!!
18. How can you make yourself happy? Panda Xiong: Huo Chai Tian Tang
burning stuff down? flames are beautiful indeed.
19. What should you do with your life? Zhang Zhi Chen: Mo Ri Zhi Lian
will i really be so emo? no man NOOO
20. Will you ever have children? Jay Chou: An Jing
i guess that means nope.

i found a diamond at 4:51 PM

Monday, February 19, 2007

1. How tall are you barefoot?- 178
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?- nope
3. Do you own a gun?- used to
4. Who's your best friend?- francine
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?- never met any before
6. What do you think of hot dogs?- 75% fats
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?- none
8. What do you prefer to drink in themorning?- plain water
9. Can you do push ups?- .
10. Is your bathroom clean?- not really
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?- i only have a choker
12. Do you like painkillers?- useless
13. What is your secret weapon to lurin the opposite sex?- by doing nothing
14. Do you own a knife?- nope
15. Do you have A.D.D.?- attention deficient disorder? yeah.
16. Middle Name?- nah,
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
- zi lian
- dan lian
- an lian
18. Name the last 3 things you havebought:
- seriously can't remem. food i guess.
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
- plain water
- hl milk. no 3rd drink
20. What time did you wake up today?- 10am sharp
22. Current worry?- missing question numbers in this shit
23. Current hate?- travelling alone
24. Favorite place to be?- track
25. Least favorite place to be?- relative hse bai nian
26. Where would you like to go?- hall 7
27. Do you own slippers?- ya
28. What shirt are you wearing?- none
30. Favorite color(s)?- black
31. Would you be a pirate?- YES
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?- so long that i cant remem
33. What songs do you sing in theshower?- stupid songs
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?- heavy rocks that might crush me.
35. What's in your pockets right now?- nth
36. Last thing that made you laugh?- i can't remem
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?- no bedsheets
38. Worst injury you've ever had?- fracture ankle/wrist
40. How many TVs do you have?- none.
41. Who is your loudest friend?- the loudest guy i know isn't my friend. my friends are all not loud.
42. Who is your most silent friend?- fran
43. Does someone have a crush on you?- i guess so
44. Do you wish on shooting stars?- i wish upon a shooting star, that i can see a shooting star.
45. What is your favorite book?- lao fu zi
46. What is your favorite candy?- ribena sweet
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?- fk i cant imagine getting married
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?- i cant imagine being dead too
49. What were you doing 12 AM lastnight? .- msn?
50. What was the First thing you thought of when you woke up?- find a shirt to wear! relatives came to bai nian!

i found a diamond at 11:53 PM

Monday, December 25, 2006

alright, i'm back after so long.
so many things happened in between these weeks.
i have...
gotten my pink ic back,
been to class chalet,
fell out of love,
got a job.

oh yea. it is christmas today.

no one teaches us how to love, so how do we end up falling for a person?
that fateful night, she held my hand. i couldn't control my emotions. it was a floodgate that was destined to be breached one day, and it so happened to be that night. i couldn't bring myself to give her a hug, nor attempt to deflate the eyebags that were slowly surfacing below her guilty eyes. but maybe it was better for her that i left it this way, to leave without a touch, without a kiss, without a smile. it will be easier for her to eternalise me as such a person.

merry christmas to everyone.
incidentally, its less than 2 hours to huiru's bdae.
happy bdae to you too.

i found a diamond at 10:02 PM

Thursday, November 02, 2006

i cant let anyone else have you

i found a diamond at 11:10 PM

Monday, August 21, 2006

had this weird dream.

it was set in an ancient time, not really ancient in fact; everything had abit of red indian/american touch to it..u know..those tribal people with hawk's feathers as their headdresses.. i was standing outside a mud castle, watching people paint murals on its walls. i forgot what the mural was all about, but the moment it was done, it was somehow washed away, revealing another sequence of pictures; a man -> a dead man -> burnt man -> his skeletal frame. bewildered, i looked up into the sky. i saw a hawk -> a dead hawk -> a burnt hawk -> its skeletal frame(dont ask me how it remained in the air, its a dream after all). the nxt thing i know, i was brought to realise that earth is gna be burnt up. gargar cliche stupid storyline. and yea, somehow we were gna be part of the sacrifices that the galaxy is gna make, in their war against another galaxy. somehow we're gna get targetted by concentrated sun beams such that everything will be burnt to ashes. i wanted to do something but i couldn't; how can someone stand up against the power of nature? so there i stood, slowly accepting my fate that my death will just be but a figure. a lone life has no meaning amongst the infinite amount of organisms that exist in this cosmos. so i found a nice spot to die; on some altar. there i slowly felt my skin get burnt, the searing heat tearing thru my body and reducing me to mere bones(don't they disintegrate?). and of course, i felt dead. i was dead. it was only until a few moments later when my spirit came to consciousness. i can smell my burnt meat in the air. but why am i alive again?

its just a dream after all

i found a diamond at 11:42 PM

Monday, August 14, 2006

hello..im back. been kinda busy these days. 6 more weeks to start clearing leave! man this year has passed really really fast. my grand juniors should be mugging their way now..for a lvl prelims perhaps? i nv got to know many of my juniors though, still remem seeing my deserted mortal(whom ive nv wrote a letter for) with her bf at pasir ris park while im running~ seems that all girls grow up to be more pretty? or is it just that sch uniforms make them look more dull. this seems to apply to ppl like limin and suet and the list goes on~

so many events have happened this year! well i cant say anithing abt the organisation im working under now, else i may get charged for breaching national security~ ahhh so scary -.- lets do a brief recap. if i still remem

jan -> hafta be work work and work. cant disclose much haha
feb -> patched up with an old friend of mine. met jacq on v dae! she confirmed that my artistic talent = 0 haha
mar-> hmm nothing much that month. fran's bdae? the card i made for her last year is still in my drawer tho
april -> another non-existent month. have almost zilch recollections of what i did man. must have been work again...
may -> her birthday
june -> starts life without my toy.

frm then on, nothing really interesting to talk about. but these few mths have been rather sweet. hahahaha

i found a diamond at 9:41 PM

Friday, July 28, 2006

i miss u

i found a diamond at 12:13 AM

Monday, July 03, 2006

souuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur

i found a diamond at 8:35 PM

Monday, June 19, 2006

i wonder how u look with your short hair

i found a diamond at 9:04 PM

Saturday, June 17, 2006

i do not want to go out with people when i know i wont enjoy their company. i dont know why im obliging to their request(small as it seems) when my happiness is at stake. they claim to be my friends. but it's all superficial. we hardly talk, and gossip is the only thing they do best. i do not enjoy gossiping. neither do i enjoy listening to their gossips. it's hurtful and insensitive. one other thing they enjoy is kbox. i dont mind serious, i dont mind singing kiddy tunes and making merry. but they're into chinese pop songs and whatnots. something i have zero interest in. i feel different, i feel a stranger. this difference is the main issue. i cannot bridge the gap. when the difference is too great, it's hard to understand

so much for difference, i dont wanna type anymore

i found a diamond at 12:20 AM

Saturday, June 10, 2006

had a 7k run at pasir ris park ytd~
together with the MES formation peeps, so total abt a few hundred people i guess.
came in 11th i think? but i must say all the credit goes to ivan for pushing me on the way
san ren xing bi you wo shi
it made me realise there is a good quality among every person
clocked 45min which to me is quite a decent timing la..
could have been faster if not coz the 1km of regal ppl blocking the route, causing us to skip thru puddles of pitfalls and mud..lol
still damn shiok nonetheless.
some kid got injured while riding bicycle so our medic was tending his wound..feels kinda weird to see it in singapore..normally u onli see such scenes when we go overseas exercises rite..lol
6pec coming out lo~!!!!! haha

btw i got a damn nice white and blue jersey now! WOOHOO

hmm wanted to flame someone here but decided against it. good mood woooo

i found a diamond at 11:01 AM

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

blessed

i found a diamond at 10:55 PM

Monday, June 05, 2006

i do not have to explain.

i found a diamond at 10:27 PM

maybe it's coz of the piece of white cloud, that the blue sky is beautiful

u dont feel full after eating too much, coz u have a side dish called distraction

words of wisdom from a song and my dad...meaningful...

i found a diamond at 8:28 PM

alright..changed my url coz of some stuff that happened. anyways, i guess this will be a private blog in the future too.

just a few minutes ago, i realised my friend IS paranoid. for all i know i will lose this friendship for the second time. it appears that what i did the first time round was not wrong. can only try to move on with life. some pages of your life just have to be torn and thrown away. this brings a real closure to our friendship. things like that do happen when one thinks that everyone's actions revolve around him or her. no melodrama, no explanations, just a fullstop.

it is alot easier to live through hard times when you think that you are doing it for someone else.

i found a diamond at 12:02 AM

Sunday, May 28, 2006

its alright to get angry when things dont go your way. just remem not to lose your head..

i found a diamond at 1:16 PM

wb loves to eat dao geysssss.

i found a diamond at 11:48 AM